Okay, maybe not shit but near enough. I've watched three episodes so far and I'm intensely underwhelmed. Full chops to them for starting 6 months after the invasion, but why did the post-apocalyptic world have to be designed by Ikea and dressed by Gap? Why does everyone wear the narrow palate of muted colours, purples, greens and mustard yellows? Will someone please turn off that incessant dramatic music, which plays even when nothing remotely dramatic is happening? How come teaching suddenly became of a higher more inspirational quality? No one ever says turn page 15 to groans from assembled children, they say things like 'Biology is the study of the wonders of life' and the sprogs gaze, rapt. How come there are so many old people about? Surely they ought to be slower at running, but apparently not. Why do we keep getting hero shots of people walking down a street? What the fuck was the story line about the Nazi biker happening to be a good cook? He actually gets to tell you how to cook chicken! Like Gordon Ramsey but without the sense of imminent danger. Why is there no sense of imminent danger? The characters move around with impunity except when they decide to go on a raid. Why does Carter from ER tell us right away that he's a history teacher and then in every episode use a little bit of history knowledge to make some preposterous analogy? Why isn't he more upset about his son who's a prisoner? At one point he says 'oh yeah we're going to get him tonight' as if it was just another thing to do. How come the danger that does occur happens as a result of character stupidity, knocking a tile off a roof or jumping up and running in full sight of the aliens? Maybe it'll get better. Maybe the Nazi biker will give us some better recipes, or John Carter from ER will realise his history knowledge is redundant as aliens from outer space are not remotely comparable to Nazis, the Visigoths, the latter part of the Roman Empire, etc. Maybe they'll find a shop of Hawaiian shirts. Maybe someone will turn the music down, or off. I hope so. I sincerely do.
John Bleasdale is a writer. His work has appeared in The Guardian, The Independent, Il Manifesto, as well as CineVue.Com and theStudioExec.com. He has also written a number of plays, screenplays and novels.